The traditional and noble sport of Arse Racing, bought to your computer screen (Flash 4).
When was Arse Racing First Invented?
It was believed for many years that Arse racing first became popular during the reign of Elizabeth I. Sir Walter Raleigh, now better know for his bicycles, was credited with its invention. However, in recent times, historians have questioned the validity of this statement, with some pointing out that people can clearly be seen Arse Racing in the Bayeaux Tapestry.
It became illegal during the prudish reign of Queen Victoria, only becoming legal again in the Swinging Sixties with the advent of Hot Pants.
This computer version was created by The Chridmeister aided and abetted by SillyJokes.co.uk
Can my Arse Appear in Arse Race?
No, sorry every featured Arse is the culmination of centuries of specialised breeding. Every single Arse can trace its pedigree back to three Arabian Arses, Burley Turd, The Darley Arabum, Godolphin Arse.
Are there any Regional Differences?
Yes, the Arse Race simulation is based upon the English version of Arse Racing.
Scottish Arse Racing is very similar, Arses are piped in, the course is littered with thistles and the Arses look a bit like two Haggis wrestling in a sack.
American Arse Racing is totally different, racing round a oval and they tend to be heavier. They have a world championship but no other country takes part so they always win.
Will Arse Racing ever be in the Olympics?
We are pushing, pushing, pushing for Arse Racing to appear in the 2004 Olympics.
Is it cruel to Arses?
It is very rare for Arses to be injured and every race has specialist Arse Doctors standing by.
What Happens to the Arses Once Their Racing Career is Finished
Many Arses find loving homes through the tireless work of the Royal Arse Rescue.
Sadly, some Arses have to be put to sleep. They simply cannot adjust to domestic life, and continue to bolt and fart at the slightest provocation.
